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As a general rule, for an adult to be able to offer some help to a child who is already crystallized (i.e., stuck in an obviously narrow and limiting definition which was conditioned by other adults), one might provide a child with the broadest, deepest spectrum of manifestations possible, without force or pressure to change or perform. That is why a fantastic trait to encourage in children is their ability to investigate and follow the urges and voices of their imaginations, their curiosities, their explorations. Give them the freedom to discover their own interests, and to pursue these things in the relentless, amazing and profound way that children do.

 

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in General Context 1947 0
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"There are two basic dispositions that human beings have: feeling loved or unloved. If children feel loved in the first two years of life, then whatever else happens in relationships, the unconscious motivating factor of feeling loved will sustain them. Children who feel loved just as they are naturally feel confident, creative, capable, and possess self-respect. If children feel unloved, their life then becomes a pursuit for love from a place of scarcity and insecurity."


Conscious Parenting Workbook pg 11 - soon to be released by Hohm Press http://www.hohmpress.com

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in General Context 1602 0
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Our shadow side has no power on its own. It can only twist the light, by manipulating, controlling... For example, with children, we try to manipulate them to conform to our ideas. More appropriately, we can discuss the consequences of their choices, but the choices themselves are only up to them depending of course on what choices are age appropriate. If the final choice for a young child is up to the adult, then we need to be clear about this rather than manipulating the child into a "choice" that is not really his/her own. And if they have made bad choices, we can support them in dealing with the consequences. But never say: "I told you so!
  

Regrettably, the thing I asked my son when he was young and had made a decision was: "Are you sure?" That was an example of manipulation. Questions like that cut them off from their trust in themselves.

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in Boundaries & Building Trust 1276 0
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"Children are by nature innocent and totally trusting. Parents need to care for them in a way that does not abuse that trust."

Conscious Parenting Workbook pg 1 - soon to be released by Hohm Press http://www.hohmpress.com

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in Boundaries & Building Trust 1510 0
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            So L was a little wound up tonight, but in happy, exuberant way. There is another way she gets wound up that it sort of destructive, like she has pent up energy - as in she's been repressed all day and not guided in healthy outlets/expression of said energy - and it definitely needs expression, but is that much more difficult to guide.

            Anyway, this didn't seem to be the case. We'd had a long walk to and play at the park and lots of jumping on the bed. After a fairly calm and much enjoyed dinner, she went to have a bath with papa as her supervisor.

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in Boundaries & Building Trust 1456 0
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"Children need and want boundaries. Every child knows what it feels like to be happy and what it feels like to be miserable, which is why they ask for limits. They will push the limits as a way to discover for themselves what the limits are, but a child who knows their limits, and for who the limits are trustworthy and reliable, is a child who will be happy and confident.

Between ages two and four, an immediate response to the circumstance and fair, non-arbitrary discipline is crucial because that's when children get their major teaching about boundaries. Setting consequences for breaking boundaries is an important consideration here. We need to know what to do and when to do it, and quickly. To set consequences a week after something happened is useless for a young child - after a week it is a different universe for them. Consequences should fit the disobedience, and be directly in time with the vent, so the child knows what the consequence is for."

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in Boundaries & Building Trust 1976 0
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by Karuna Fedorschak and Elyse April

Family Literacy

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in Education 3122 0
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Part 1 - Attachment Parenting

by Karuna Fedorschak and Elyse April

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in Pregnancy & Infancy 1885 0
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The responsibility of being with children . . .is literally a responsibility for the future of humankind. What we model for children, how we treat them, how we parent them, is more than important—it is absolutely vital to their mental, emotional and physical health and well-being and to that of the earth itself . . . Adults need to become conscious parents . . . educated in how to educate children.

— Lee Lozowick, Concsious Parenting, Hohm Press, 2010

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in General Context 1492 0
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"It is recommended that nursing be “on demand” and continue as long as the child is actively nursing and the mother is physically capable, ideally for three to five years. There is a vital connection between early feeding experiences and the child’s Psychological and emotional development. As the child grows and the mother senses the time for weaning approaching, she can begin preparing the child by talking about when nursing will end."

Conscious Parenting Workbook pg 6 - soon to be released by Hohm Press http://www.hohmpress.com/index.html

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in Pregnancy & Infancy 789 0
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"Create a space for the birth that is simple and welcoming, preferably a room with soft, quiet colors and free of music—a space of communion and celebration. Continue to talk to your baby psychically or verbally during the birth, as you would to an adult."

Conscious Parenting Workbook pg 6 - soon to be released by Hohm Press http://www.hohmpress.com/index.html

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in Pregnancy & Infancy 1653 0
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"After the birth, it is recommended that mother and baby remain in the house together for approximately two weeks before venturing out into more stimulating environments.

As outside stimuli are introduced, you can objectively describe to your baby what these new noises and lights are, and assure him or her that he or she is safe and need not feel threatened."

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in Pregnancy & Infancy 3600 0
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by Surat Lozowick

            I was raised by the wisdom of my parents — but not conventional wisdom. It was the wisdom of trading convention and tradition for respect and inclusiveness, trading harsh rigidity for the tenderness of authentic relationship.

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in Teens 1671 0
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Ideally, what should be said to every child, repeatedly, throughout his or her school life is something like this: “You are in the process of being indoctrinated. We have not yet evolved a system of education that is not a system of indoctrination. We are sorry, but it is the best we can do. What you are being taught here is an amalgam of current prejudice and the choices of this particular culture. The slightest look at history will show how impermanent these must be. You are being taught by people who have been able to accommodate themselves to a regime of thought laid down by their predecessors. It is a self-perpetuating system. Those of you who are more robust and individual than others will be encouraged to leave and find ways of educating yourself — educating your own judgments. Those that stay must remember, always, and all the time, that they are being molded and patterned to fit into the narrow and particular needs of this particular society.”

-- Doris Lessing

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in General Context 1667 0
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One morning, I was in the office, working on some routine things, nothing pressing, just things that needed to get done. I had a little friend who was 5-years old. He had picked up the phone that morning and called me, in tears, asking me to come. I asked him a few questions and he told me that nothing had happened; he wasn't hurt or anything. He just wanted me to come.  

It was only a ten-minute drive or so for me to get to his house, maybe a little more if the traffic was bad. What I was doing in the office wasn't urgent at all, yet I convinced myself that if I “come” to him this time, it would set up a pattern and he would think that I would come any time he called. So, I told him that I couldn't come right now because I had work I had to do in the office, but that I would see him soon.   

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Tagged in: Boundaries
in Boundaries & Building Trust 885 0
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