Our shadow side has no power on its own. It can only twist the light, by manipulating, controlling... For example, with children, we try to manipulate them to conform to our ideas. More appropriately, we can discuss the consequences of their choices, but the choices themselves are only up to them depending of course on what choices are age appropriate. If the final choice for a young child is up to the adult, then we need to be clear about this rather than manipulating the child into a "choice" that is not really his/her own. And if they have made bad choices, we can support them in dealing with the consequences. But never say: "I told you so!
Regrettably, the thing I asked my son when he was young and had made a decision was: "Are you sure?" That was an example of manipulation. Questions like that cut them off from their trust in themselves.
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- Rose Volckhausen